The Chunin Exams Remix
by Jack's Sword
Summary: What if the Chunin Exam Semifinal duels were distributed differently? Warning: brief chapters. Rated for violence involving death and implying blood.
1. Chapter 1: Shino vs Temari

Note: If you like silly stories but hate serious fights, read chapters 1, 3-7, and 9-10. If you like serious fights but hate silly jokes, read chapters 2,8, and 11 on. If you like both, read the whole thing.

You know the drill, I don't own Naruto or any of the Naruto characters, Blah, Blah, Blah. Okay, let's go.

Chapter 1: Shino vs. Temari

The announcer begins the semi-final rules (rough translation). "Everyone gets to beat up on each other in one on one duels! If one contestant gets beaten up so badly it is obvious he will lose, I will declare the other's victory. If someone dies, their opponent wins. If someone gives up, their opponent wins. Now for random lineups."

The digital screen (quite a weird combination with knife-throwing ninjas) displays two pictures and names. Shino and Temari!

The two contestants go over to the field. Naruto bounces around in the background, angry that he wasn't first. Shino and Temari stare at each other. After a few moments the announcer reminds them that they can start.

Temari swings her fan as hard as she can. Almost no gust at all flies at Shino and he ignores it. She looks, surprised and sees that her fan is bladeless, a metal frame covered in bugs. She roars in anger, holds the fan skeleton between her fingers, and charges as Shino. She swings her metal poles straight through "Shino". He collapses into a pile of bugs.

The real Shino stands behind Temari, about to place one kunai horizontally in front of her throat, the other vertically behind it. She spins around, sees him, and swings at him with her "claw". He leaps backward, throwing the kunai while midair.

Temari spins her weapon in an impossibly quick circle, catching the kunai with it and knocking them away. She then leaps at Shino, swinging her club/claw thingie.

Shino lands from his jump horizontally. Just before landing, he reaches his arm behind his back, grabs the white part of Temari's fan from below him, and swings it out in front of him as a shield.

Temari's fan parts clash as their owner tries to force her opponent to be pinned under the fan. Then she feels something creeping on her hands and feet. She feels sharp pains in her hands causing her to release her grip. She dodges a kick from Shino and tries to kick back, only to discover that her feet are weighed down by thousands of bugs.

Shino raises up, grabs Temari's hands and forces them together. The bugs latch together into a sort of full hand handcuff.

Shino then places his kunai to her head and asks for her surrender, only to hear her refusal.

After a few minutes of watching the girl struggling helplessly, the anouncer calls it Shino's win.

Note: Yes, this was a short chapter. Get used to it. Oh, by the way, did you notice the Wolverine reference? (I do not own the X-men, unfortunantly). On another note, I am not crazy, I just will pretend to be to make this story funnier.


	2. Chapter 2: Hinata vs Kiba

Chapter 2: Hinata vs. Kiba

As Shino and Temari leave the field, the screen displays the next two fighters. Hinata and Kiba. Kiba is excited. Hinata is nervous, but determined. Naruto continues to bounce around in the background.

Hinata and Kiba stand at a faceoff. The round begins. Kiba's dog leaps onto his owner's head and Kiba activates Beast Mini-cry Jutsu (or something like that), turning Akumaru and Kiba into Kiba-like, clawed, vampire thingies.

Hinata activates her Bakugan eyes.

Kiba and Akumaru start spinning and charge Hinata. (Yes, he attacks by doing twirls, get over it.) Akumaru is directly in front of Kiba.

Just as Akumaru is about to hit Hinata, she goes into action. She does a split, does an eight palm on Akumaru, stopping him in midair. She then grabs him by the tail and throws him at Kiba. They collide midair, hurling Akumaru against the wall at high speeds. Everyone in the room winces at the sound of crushing bones, except Hinata, Gara, and Sauske.

Kiba stops spinning, and stands, staring at the limp form on the ground. While he is distracted, Hinata slips in front of him and does a two palm before he surrenders.

Note: Yes, I know it is really Beast Mimicry. It took me a few minutes to remember Akumaru's name though… (I was about to dub him puppy) Stay tuned for the next installment: Chapter 3: Stretchy vs. Squeaky. Who shall win? Nobody knows (I haven't decided yet)


	3. Chapter 3: Stretchy vs Squeaky

Chapter 3: The highly anticipated duel of Stretchy and Squeaky!!! Yay!!!

Everyone (except Gaara and the unconscious forms of Kiba and Akumaru, of course) stares shocked at Hinata's almost instantaneous victory. In fact, Naruto's lower jaw fell literally to the ground. As it hit, it sparked some red, deamon fox energy (So that's how he does that!) As soon as she was declared winner, Hinata helped the medical ninja place Akumaru on a stretcher, ignoring Kiba, who was barely injured and starting to get up by himself.

After everyone left the field, the computer ran its names again. Two less known characters came up

***This is an interruption of your regular Naruto remix tale.***. (whoever can review and give me the names first will receive recognition in the next chapter after I read it). Ninja #1 was a Sound Ninja. You know, the one with holes in his palms that he sends high powered sound beams out of? Anyhoo, we shall dub him Sir Squeaky (Get it? Sound? Squeak?). Oh, and by the way, Squeaky got his left arm broken just before the semifinals (was it by Sauske?). Ninja #2 was a Sound Ninja disguised as a leaf ninja. He is some sort of rubber man who stretches around his opponent and squeezes until they snap. I shall call him the Sinister Stretchy. I don't like him. Anyway, back to the story.

Squeaky and Stretchy walked to the field and faced each other. Squeaky did a giant leap backwards (oh the joys of being a ninja). As he flew through the air, he shot his beam of noise at Stretchy.

Stretchy put his hands over his ears and charged, accepting whatever noise got through his blockade as a necessary evil.

Squeaky continued to retreat along the walls, swinging his good hand in all directions. Once, his invisible beam swung through Naruto's head, throwing him spinning into the wall and knocking him unconscious, much to everyone's shock and relief, except Hinata, who hurried over to check if he was okay. After that, everyone was on guard.

After a few minutes, Squeaky suddenly changed direction and leapt upon Streachy, jabbing him with his hand.

Stretchy fought through his blurring vision to grab Squeaky's hand, wrap around it, and crush it. He then tried to snake his way around Squeaky's body.

In a last, desperate attempt, Squeaky took out his broken arm, twisted it around his body, grabbed Stretchy's head, and played his palm full blast.

As he twitched around in his last moments of consiousness, Streachy ended up breaking both of Sqeaky's legs. They fell into a heap, helpless. The announcer called a tie.

Note: I got a comment from my brother (lightblade77, read his story Zatchbell 3001: The Momodo With the White Book" on fanfiction). He said my stories were not long enough. I was going to say "deal with it" in this note, but the chapter ended up fairly long. Oops. Next time: Naruto vs. Garaa. Who will win? Will Naruto even be able to compete? (If you didn't get that last sentence, read the fourth paragraph again)


	4. Chapter 4: Naruto vs Gaara

Chapter 4: Naruto vs Gaara.

Everyone looks sickened, stairing at the almost indestinguishable tangle of Stretchy and Squeaky except for Gaara, who was grinning at the grusome seen, and Naruto, who was passed out. The medical ninjas managed to separate the last contestants and carried them off in stretchers.

The computer picked the next two names. Gaara and Naruto! Gaara, lazy as usual, did some sort of sand teleportation tecnique to reach the field. Naruto was passed out, from where Squeaky zapped him. Sakura started to kick him. Hard. She woke him up once, then accidently knocked him back out. After a few minutes, Kakashi came over and did some sort of weird jutso. Naruto teleported to the field and woke up. "Begin!" the anouncer shouted.

Naruto jumped to his feet, just as Gaara's sand reached him. He lept directly at Gaara, kunai in hand, screaming bloody murder. Gaara's sand shield stopped him in midair. Naruto hovered in the air (just another advantage of being a ninja), swiping his kunai back and forth like crazy. He still was screaming. Gaara's sand on the ground formed into a giant fist and punched Naruto from below, into the ceiling. Naruto shouted something in his high-pitched , squeaky voice (we think he did a shadow clone jutsu), and Two Narutos flew back down. Gaara formed his sand into two fists and punched both. The clone dissapeared and Naruto returned to the ceiling. Four Naruto's returned. Same result. Then Eight Naruto's, then Sixteen, then Thirty two, the list goes on and on.

After 26.525698148663485498915324894564789456415648649… (I think that is specific enough, don't you?) minutes of this, Naruto decided on another tatic. His countless shadow clones drew cunai, and all bunched around Gaara's automatic shield, beating up on it untill they got to the guy inside. Then they had to go through his super-hard-sand-shell. After a few minutes, they managed that. Then everyone but Naruto realized that the entire thing was a sand clone. Naruto just kept chopping.

The real Gaara rose from the sand behind Naruto, kunai in hand (bet he isn't even strong enough to puncture Naruto). Just before we could find out the answer the that last line, The fox realized it was in danger, flared up a red energy around Naruto, and threw Gaara against the far wall. Obviously, he fainted. Naruto didn't realize it though, he just kept chopping and chopping and chopping while shouting "You can't beat me, not now, not ever" intermittantly with his roar/screams.

Note: I was planning to have this fight be my tie because, like in the original, one battle had to tie to make the next round even, but I already used my tie. Oops. MusicAgainstTheHeart won the contest in the last chapter, at least partially. She knew squeaky's name, but not stretchy's. If you like my story, check her's out. They look just as freaky. They don't have the same no cursing promise though… Anyway, whoever can find Stretchy's name and put in in a review for me will also get confirmation.


	5. Chapter 5: Sauske vs Konkuro

Chapter 5: Sauske vs. Konkuro

When Gaara fainted, Naruto kept whacking the sand clone for a few seconds, then it collapsed to the ground, its purpose lost. Naruto spun around, expecting an attack. He kept spinning, as Gaara was laying on the upper platform, out of sight. The medical ninja left Gaara where he was. He wasn't hurt too bad. The only reason he had lost was because his body was so physically weak that almost anything would have taken him out. After a few minutes, someone decided to let Naruto know what was going on. Embarrased, he returned to the observer's platform quickly. Or tried to. Every time he would try to jump up, he would miss, and every time he would try to teleport, he would appear at some random position. Finally, he ended up appearing above Gaara. The sand made a shield around Gaara, and Naruto used it for a bench. Hinata came and sat next to him, making sure he was okay.

The computer began the next matchup. Sauske and Konkuro!

Sauske leapt down to the field coolly. Konkuro looked awkward in comparison. The two faced off. Both were completely confidant. The match began.

Sauske started the match. He charged Konkuro, slid down on one hand and foot, and kicked Konkuro in the chin with the other foot, sending him flying, horizontally facing the ceiling. Sauske then moved directly below him so fast he seemed to teleport there. Then he started kicking Konkuro over and over in the back, somehow not sending himself to the floor from the throwback (ah, the convenience of ninja physics). After a few moments (shorter than the time it took you to read this side note (unless you are the Flash (I don't own the Flash, Marvel does))), Sauske flipped his leg over Konkuro, flipped overtop him, and kicked him towards the floor. Both Sauske and Konkuro froze midair, giving Rock Lee a minute to wonder at how Sauske had learned his move so fast, Might Guy a similar minute, and Kakashi a minute to explain the Shangarian Eye and to reveal his own one. Sauske and Konkuro started moving again.

Sauske landed lightly, but Konkuro bounced like crazy, the shock ripping off his head coverings. It was really Konkuro's puppet Crow! The real Konkuro stood behind Sauske, about to strike. Sauske's curse mark grew, allowing Sauske to spin around and slash Konkuro faster than Konkuro could hit him! Konkuro collapsed to the ground and muttered a surrender.

Note: Well, that third review was discouraging. I would like some encouragement to help me keep going. Or negativity to tell me I am wasting my time. Please put some sort of tiny review to show me your opinion when you come to read this. I already have had over two hundred people look at this story in the five days it has been up. I know someone could review. Please? Oh, and by the way, I think I am missing one of the teams in my list of characters in the semifinals. Can someone send me a complete list to double-check with? I don't have access to the Manga anymore.  
And to reviewer #3, I am not surprised the original author wrote his story better than my little satire/Lee glorification (oops, that was going to be saved for later). I know I am abusing the series, but if it makes you laugh once a chapter on average, then I have succeeded. (although I might have failed with this chapter. I started with the best and my ideas are starting to run down. Suggestions please.)


	6. Chapter 6: Lee vs Choji

Chapter 6: Rock Lee vs

Chapter 6: Rock Lee vs. Choji

Sauske walked off, cool and uncaring, as the medical ninja rushed over to the heavily bleeding Konkuro. As he reached the upper platform with a swift jump, Naruto leapt up from his sand bench, leaving Hinata behind, and started bouncing around his rival, excited. "Yes! You won!" he squeaked, "You're one of the ones I want to fight!" Sauske walked out of the room, ignoring his annoying, pathetic, teammate. After he left, he let out a sigh of relief, glad no one had seen him activate his curse mark.

The computer ran its faces yet again. The first to appear was Rock Lee. He held up a fist and hoped for Neji. The next to appear was Choji. Lee let out a sigh of disappointment.

Choji wan't sure what to think. "At least it wasn't Ino," he muttered. He lifted his head, pouring the rest of his potato chips into his mouth, crumpled the bag up, and tossed it on the ground (Bad Choji, Bad!). Choji slowly trotted down to the field.

Lee had already done five somersaults, and was in the middle of a one-handed handstand, when he saw his opponent come onto the field. He dropped to all fours in an upside down style, sort of like the crab walk. The match began.

Choji started out with his biggest and best move (without steroids). Literally the biggest. You guessed it, he started with "Expansion Jutsu!" Choji as a giant pinball charged Rock Lee. Rock Lee watched casually as his opponent came at him. Seconds before he would be crushed, he popped up into the air. He landed on his opponent, and started "log rolling" him toward the wall, arms crossed. Choji did a quick end to his jutsu and expanded again, dropping Lee, then slamming him toward the far wall. Lee did a half somersault, landed feet first on the wall, and, to everyone's surprise, slid to the ground. Mutters of "Why didn't he attach himself with jutsu?" erupted.

--TV show version only--Might Guy said that Lee couldn't use Ninjitsu or Genetsu. Commercial break. Might Guy said that Lee couldn't use Ninjitsu or Genetsu. Kakashi double checked him with his Shangairan eye. Neji, Lee, and Might Guy had a long flashback. Commercial break. Might Guy said that Lee couldn't use Ninjitsu or Genetsu. Lee basically said "bring it on" in a bunch of words. Episode ends. Next episode. Theme song. Might Guy said that Lee couldn't use Ninjitsu or Genetsu. Battle continues. --End of TV specific section--

Choji charged again. At the last second, Lee somersaulted to the side, shouting "I am the great green beast of the Konoha!" Choji hit the wall. Choji stuck.

Lee somersaulted behind him, about to kick him through the rest of the building. Just before he could be hit, Choji released his jutsu again, lept at Lee, and activated it again. This time, Lee "disappeared" before he could be hit. When he slowed enough to be visible again, he was just over Choji's head. Or Choji's arm. Or whatever part of Choji was at top at the time. A loud snap sounded throughout the room. The weights (that everyone thinks are just decoration, remember) on Lee's left leg broke off. They landed on Choji. Hard. Choji deflates, Naruto does the jaw-dropping thing again, and Choji laid with the weights on his chest. "I can't breathe," he choked out.

"Here, let me get a load off your chest," Lee said (sorry, I couldn't resist). He took the weights off of Choji's large belly and placed them on Choji's leg, pinning him down without killing him. He then walked a few feet in front of his opponent, and started doing fancy, but heavily off balance, feats of his athletic ability, waiting for Choji to surrender.

Note: Lee rocks! If you go to my homepage, I posted a survey for favorite characters. Do other's like Lee? Only time will tell. If you think I should have given other options, tell me. I might reset the survey if I get enough requests. Oh, and yes, you Manga only readers, you aren't missing out on much in Naruto. I may have gotten the specifics wrong, but the gist of that TV paragraph really happened. (Maybe it was over three episodes…)


	7. Chapter 7: Sakura vs Tenten

Chapter 7: Tenten vs. Sakura.

When Choji realized that he wasn't getting out from under the heavy weights laid on his leg, he surrendered. The medical ninja came over and tried to take the weights off. Three of them couldn't lift them. Choji started whimpering about blood circulation. After a minute, Lee leapt over and lifted the weights off of Choji with two fingers, attached them to his own leg, and leapt back into the "stands". Choji limped back from the field, his only wounds a bruised stomach, a leg weak from temporary blood loss, and a crushed pride. Back in the stands, Naruto was bouncing all around Kakashi, begging to be taught the Chidori.

The computer spit out the next random battle contestants. Tenten and Sakura. They both leapt onto the field. The announcer said something about them both being of the village of leaves in land of fire (quite a weird combination, huh?) The prepared to fight

Tenten activated her summoning jutsu as Sakura charged, kunai in hand. Thousands of random weapons flew from the sky, flying at Sakura. "Sakura" was impaled about fifty times, then the illusion fell away, leaving only a battle scarred log. Tenten lept to the side as the next Sakura slashed where she was. Scooping up a ball and chain, Tenten swung around to face her opponent. The weapon hit "Sakura" so hard that it cracked the log into a thousand pieces. Sakura flew down from the sky at Tenten after teleporting from her second substitution justsu. Tenten ran to the side, ducking and narrowly dodging the resulting swipe from Sakura. Before straitening, Tenten subtly picked up a shuriken. Sakura continued to charge, unawares. Tenten glanced back, turned forward again, and flicked the ninja star in her hand toward Sakura quickly and silently. It caught her in her left palm, just as Tenten had aimed. Scooping up a spear, Tenten spun around and hit Sakura's head with the non-sharp end, knowing that the shuriken in her hand, there was no way Sakura could make jutsu signs. Sakura took the hit and slid across the ground, yanking the shuriken out of her hand and returning it to its owner. Tenten took it in the shoulder. Now free to do signs, though with very wet hands, Sakura did substitution behind Tenten, pointed her kunai at her neck, and then changed her mind and punched Tenten in the back of the head. Tenten was floored. Sakura lept on her back and pointed the kunai at her head. The announcer declared Sakura winner.

Note: Sorry if this chapter wasn't very funny. I thought it was good, though. The only "battle" with Tenten I have ever seen was where Temari destroyed her in these semifinals. I saw both Anime and Manga versions, but can't remember the Manga. The Anime basically showed weapons littering the field and Temari balancing a helpless Tenten on the end of her fan. Sorry if I got her skills wrong. I tried to avoid it by giving her only the ability I knew she had. I researched her on Wikipedia but that isn't always accurate or complete.

I just noticed I put a pun in my last note without realizing it. "Lee rocks!" Rock Lee, get it? I didn't.


	8. Chapter 8: Shikamaru vs Ino

Chapter 8: Shikamaru vs

Chapter 8: Shikamaru vs. Ino

As with the Squeaky/Stretchy mess, everyone conscious in the room was disgusted by the conclusion (Gaara having joined the rank of the unconscious). Sakura jumped up as soon as she was declared victor, and helped Tenten up. The medical ninja bandaged up the two girls, then the two fighters leapt up to the stadium, side by side.

When they got up there, there was a brief break while the field was cleaned up from all the weapons. The announcer explained "Blood and cracks in the ground are okay, a minefield of weapons, not okay." After a few minutes, the mess was fixed, and the computer was run again (who runs that thing anyway? (the computer, I mean)). Two names appeared, yet again. Shikamaru and Ino!

Shikamaru muttered "What a drag" and slowly dragged himself up and started to drag himself toward the field. For about a foot.

Ino, not wanting to wait (and conveniently standing near him), grabbed Shikamaru by the back of the shirt and leapt, carrying them both onto the field. She then dropped him to the ground, leapt to the other side of the field, and drew two shuriken. "Get ready!" she shouted. Shikamaru slowly got to his feet. The match was declared started.

Ino threw her two ninja stars first thing. Shikamaru casually leaned to one side, then the other, dodging the projectiles. Casually, he observed the field. "Smart," he muttered. Ino had placed him almost directly under one of the ceiling lights, the only shade nearby being his own, small, personal shadow!

Ino charged her opponent with kunai, confident that she had him. She saw him reach into one of his many pockets, drawing out a single kunai. He then crouched to the ground. She leapt into the air. When she got within about ten feet, she saw him leap to his feet launching the blade hard. Toward the ceiling. She heard a crack overhead, glass came raining down, and the light went out.

"Game over," Shikamaru said, drew two kunai, and deflected Ino's. She started to fall the last foot (about 1/3 of a meter for all you non-Americans) toward the ground.

Ino knew she was about to lose. If she tried to use justu, she would just get stabbed. Desperately, she dropped her kunai, grabbed his wrists, and kicked him in the chest as hard as she could. She went sailing into the air, his two kunai held in her hands and Shikamaru falling on the ground. She twisted around catlike, throwing his daggers right back at him.

Shikamaru rolled on his side, dodging the two kunai. The glass he had broken moments earlier (but three paragraphs ago) finally landed. He caught the biggest pieces with his hands to minimize damage, but still was dangerously scratched up. He muttered about miscalculation and stood up, watching Ino land. On his newly extended shadow. Casually, he walked backwards, forcing Ino to imitate him. She ended up next to the wall. He swung his head back hard. She was forced to do the same. Shikamaru released his grab, letting Ino slump to the floor.

Note: Thank you icecreamlova for pointing out the pathetic first chapter and the destruction Fanfiction had amassed on my paragraph separation. All better now. Sort of. Fanfiction really doesn't like indented paragraphs, does it? But I am not planning to place all the chapters into a oneshot. I don't have enough time on my hands to write all that at once. Plus I like my stretchy/squeaky title (and stretchy is not Konkuro, he is the guy who fought Konkuro in the real semifinals)


	9. Chapter 9: Gaara vs Everyone

Chapter 9: Gaara vs. 'bout everyone else

This gets pretty crazy. Sorry if you are confused. If you want to keep track of the characters, there is a list at the end. However, it has some spoilers inside.

Shikamaru released his grip and started walking towards the stands, annoyed that he was going to have to fight again. Ino slowly got off the ground, rubbing her head. She also went to the stands, mad at herself for losing. They stood by each other and Choji, waiting to watch the next fight.

Gaara awoke to a throbbing headache. What had happened? He slowly opened his eyes. Above him was his sand shield. Perplexed, he looked to the side. There were legs. Someone was on his shield. He was mad (unsurprisingly).

Naruto heard a scream. He spun around to see that Hinata was being engulfed in sand. "Hinata!" he shouted/squeaked. Quickly, he leapt over a sand stream that was coming at him, used shadow clones midair, drew kunai, and started stabbing all around Hinata. After a few moments, he had her free enough to grab her and leap to safety.

Neji swung around to see Naruto flying through the air at his cousin, who seemed to be being attacked by Gaara. Serves her right. He secretly hoped that she would die, but knew he must save her. Then he noticed the streams of sand coming toward him and the three sound ninja that hadn't fought yet.

As she was flying through the air, slung over Naruto's shoulder, Hinata saw four cocoons of sand attached to streams coming from the sand shield. Suddenly, one started spinning, ripping to shreds. Sand went everywhere. It was Neji!

Gaara saw one of his sand cocoons start to disappear, and acted quickly. "Sand Burial!" he declared. Three cocoons squished, killing those inside. A very satisfying sound. However, the fourth was stopped completely by the inhabitant's jutsu. That made Gaara mad. Very mad.

Temari swung around to see Gaara's four cocoons fall away. Was he crazy?!? This wasn't the plan! However, she knew that the following conflict was inevitable and she might as well help out. She leapt to the far side of the room from Gaara and threw shuriken at Sakura.

Sakrura watched Gaara's merciless killing and Naruto's desperate leap to the field in shock. Suddenly she heard a noise. Spinning around, she saw a shuriken aimed at her face and took it to the cheek. Temari was attacking her! She dropped to the ground, rolled forward, beyond Temari, and drew a kunai. She leapt to her feet, ready to defend herself as necessary.

Tenten, who had been standing right next to Sakura, heard metal hit flesh, and spun. She Saw Temari charging her. Instinctively, she activated hundreds of weapons from the sky, and hit Temari with most of them. She fell, dead or gravely injured. It didn't much matter just this moment. Tenten spun and saw Kakashi charge toward a huge sphere of sand, chidori activated.

Kakashi charged calmly at the sphere that contained Gaara. He would not be allowed to unleash Shukaku. Kakashi jabbed his arm through the sand, the chidori cutting it like it was butter. Suddenly, he hit flesh. A scream roared through the room.

Gaara's left elbow was hit. It hurt. Bad. He forced his sand around Kakashi as well as himself. This torture must be avenged.

Shikamaru leapt over and grabbed Gaara's shadow. He would not be moving for quite a while.

When Gaara shifted his sand to grab Kakashi, Might Guy, Rock Lee, Kiba, Shino, and Ino saw their chances. They all leapt, pretty much in unison, toward Gaara's shield's thin side. They started to break through, Might Guy and Rock Lee kicking, Kiba, Shino and Ino slashing with their kunai.

Choji decided to help too. "Coming through!" he shouted, charging the shield, from the unpopulated side. He activated Expansion jutsu and hit the ball hard. The sand ball, now containing Gaara, Kakashi, Might Guy, Rock Lee, Kiba, Shino, Ino, and Choji, started rolling around the stadium.

Sakura looked in shock as the sandy mess started rolling. Then she realized that it was coming at her! She started running. Tenten started running. They passed Neji, who stood calmly.

Neji watched the huge ball came looming toward him. At the last second, he started a rotation jutsu, throwing the mass into the field.

Naruto and Hinata, who had watched this whole thing amazed, watched the ball come flying toward them. Naruto watched, stupidly. Hinata didn't. She grabbed his hand shouting "Run!" He obeyed. The two of them just managed to avoid getting smashed by the… thing.

The mass of bodies and sand came crashing to the ground. It crashed in a heap. Most of its inhabitants were knocked out, including Gaara.

Authors Note: I admit, I couldn't find any info on those three sound ninja, which started this whole idea. I think it worked out better, don't you?

Here are the results of the first round:

Shino (fine)

Temari (no fan and injured badly, lost)

Hinata (fine)

Kiba (Akamaru gravely injured, lost)

Stretchy (Tsurugu ) (knocked out, lost)

Squeaky (Zaku) (many bones broken, lost)

Naruto (fine)

Gaara (knocked out twice, arm broken, lost)

Rock Lee (fine)

Choji (splitting headache, and lost)

Sakura (hands injured, but continuing)

Tenten (shoulder injured and lost)

Shikamaru (slightly scratched)

Ino (uninjured, but lost)

Sound Ninja, explosives (Dosu) (dead)

Sound Ninja, bell (Kin) (dead)

Sound Ninja, absorption (Yoroi) (dead)

Neji (no fight, but let continue)


	10. Chapter 10: Neji vs Naruto

Chapter 10: Neji vs. Naruto (aka. comedy's last stand)

_One month later_

The remaining combatants lined up in an open field arena. Shino, Hinata, Naruto, Sauske, Rock Lee, Sakura, Shikamaru, and Neji. In the stands, Stretchy, Squeaky (on crutches), Choji, Tenten, Ino, and Kiba, with Akamaru in full body cast on his head, looked on. Also in the stands were the Hokage, the "Kazekage", and hundreds of spectators.

The announcer (really, he is more of a judge. Let's call him the referee for the rest of the story) explained the battle plan to the proud fighters. The next rounds were: Naruto vs. Neji, Shino vs. Shikamaru, Sauske vs. Rock Lee, and Sakura vs. Hinata. He told Naruto and Neji to stay and sent the others to the stands.

Mid-story note: The following is two versions of the battle. Version 1 is my favorite, but was too short and ended with the wrong victor. Actually, I made it up first, before starting this whole story. It was behind the whole premise of what I think should have happened. Version 2 will be what will continue into the rest of the tale as the "real" story

Version 1: Naruto and Neji stood, staring at each other. After a moment, impatient Naruto bit his finger off (okay, just the tip, but still), slammed his hand palm down into the dirt, and squeaked out his new move "Summoning jutsu!" Chief Toad appeared in the air above Neji and fell on him. Game over.

Version 2: Naruto and Neji stood, staring at each other. After a moment, impatient Naruto charged, and bounced off the resulting rotation jutsu. Then he duplicated and tried again. And again. And again. You get the idea. Bored with this whole thing, Neji started thinking about his past in long, complicated detail.

After a half hour, he looked around and realized that Naruto had stopped trying to beat his brains out on the rotation jutsu. Had he succeeded?! Neji slowed down his rotation and looked around. Off the tree on the other side of the stadium, Naruto was hanging like a bat, fast asleep, his feet attached to the branches by red energy, his arms hanging straight down, and a bit of saliva reaching three feet from his mouth to the ground.

Neji looked at the stands for an explanation. "Real booooring story, Neji!" he heard Ino shout.

Neji started to confidently walk over to Naruto to finish the job. A split second later, he slowed, reminded by the strange, red energy flowing from Naruto's feet of what happened when Gaara tried to sneak up on the guy. Cautiously, he approached his enemy.

The fox could sense Neji's caution. He didn't want his host to be in any more rounds of unnecessary, stupid, danger! The fox released his hold on the branch, completely removing his chakra from the boy's system.

Seeing that the energy was gone through his Biakugon eyes, Neji confidently charged his foe. He disabled Naruto's elbows and knees with four gentle fists, knocking him to the ground, and held a kunai to his throat, not wanting to do anything too excessive and unleash the red chakra inside.

Note: As you may have noticed in the title, this is (probably) going to be the last silly chapter. The rest will focus on the action, not the humor. Just as a reminder, the find stretchy's name challenge is still on.


	11. Chapter 11: Shino vs Shikamaru

Chapter 11: Shino vs. Shikamaru

As soon as Neji was declared victor, the fox replenished his host's energy. Neji walked back to the stands haughtily, while Naruto bounced around him, requiring a rematch.

The referee called Shikamaru and Shino to the field and teleported beside the "kages". The next match was on.

Shikamaru leapt into the shaded corner, crouched in his thinking position, and stared at his opponent, strategizing. After a few moments, he had it. Shino would have to send his bugs out to attack. His bugs have shadows. All Shikamaru had to do was wait and prepare for a counter attack. He switched his hands from their habitual planning position to their more useful jutsu position. All he had to do was wait.

Shino saw his opponent crouch down, acknowledged the fact that Shikamaru could use his bugs against him and decided for an overwhelming strategy. He placed his palm next to the ground and allowed his bugs to stream off.

Shikamaru watched his opponent unleash his swarm and waited for them to charge. Only a few of them did! He watched, curious, as about thirty of the bugs spread out across the dusty field and surrounded him. Then they all came at him at once. He activated his jutsu, entrapping them all instantly. Most of the bugs were standing where there was already shade, he acknowledged. Not a lot of shadow potential here. Then the next swarm came.

After about ten minutes, Shino had sent most of his little army at Shikamaru. The shadow boy acknowledged the strategy. He had to concentrate on hundreds of bodies at once or be swarmed. He suddenly realized the obvious. Why was he wasting his time and energy on these things!?! He released his hold on about ten bugs, drew two Kunai, and impaled the little monsters as they got close. He smirked as he saw the still captured bugs forced to imitate his swirling motions. Then he saw a quick movement out of the corner of his eye. Shino! The bug man came flying at Shikamaru, kunai held out. Shikamaru desperately swung up his own blades in self defense. The kunai struck and Shikamaru went sliding through the mass of bugs into the wall, kicked off of it to escape the bugs, and flew out into the light.

_Three… two… one…_ Shino thought calmly.

As he landed, Shikamaru felt the ground shake under him. The bugs were underground! Sections of the ground started to collapse under him. He leapt high into the air to survey the damage. Below him, he saw a small, metal stake in the ground, left alone by the bugs. Midair, he drew a kunai, attached a string to the rounded end, and tied it around his foot.

Shino watched his opponent land, feet first. He landed on the kunai which he placed in the center of the stake, bending his knee at the perfect angle to stay balanced. His other foot was horizontal, like some absurd yoga style. His hands were formed a symbol. Almost too late, Shino realized that Shikamaru's shadow, enlarged by his height off the ground, and now expanded to come towards him, had almost reached him! Shino leapt into the air, onto the wall behind him. Suddenly, he froze. The area he was in was completely shadowed and instantaneously in Shikamaru's control!

Shikamaru knew that all he had to do now was relax and… wait! Bugs swarmed all over him, climbing up his kunai stilt. He knew what he had to do. He leapt exactly five feet and four inches to the side, forcing Shino to imitate him. Then he did a back flip. Shino back flipped into the stands and head butted Ino's nose. Shikamaru then released his grip and shadow froze the bugs swarming around him, letting the furious Ino finish the job.

Amazingly, Shino survived the onslaught and came flying back into the field, right at the pile of insects that covered Shikamaru's indistinguishable form.

Forced to keep the bugs from attacking, Shikamaru had to just lay there as Shino was about to point a kunai at his neck. He surrendered before it could happen.

Author's notes: 1) Sorry it took so long. 2) I know I said no more comedy, but I was wrong, I admit it.


	12. Chapter 12: Sauske vs Rock Lee

Chapter 12: Sauske vs. Rock Lee:

_A/N: I considered quitting this story, but I am holding on the hope that someone enjoys it. Based off that assumption, it deserves an ending._

Shino called off his bugs, and he and Shikamaru calmly walked into the stands, neither one bothering with small talk.

On the far side of the stands, Ino "overheard" Master Guy and Master Kakashi talking.

"Why isn't he here yet?" Might Guy asked. "He even missed Naruto's fight after training him for a month!"

"Be patient," Kakashi replied, "He'll show up. Ah, here he is now."

Ino turned around and saw a tall, old man with spiky white hair and inch-thick wooden clogs. _Creepy_, she thought to herself, but then went back to watching the new duel.

The referee had all ready left the field as Sauske and Rock Lee sized each other up. Lee had a deathly serious expression, one hand behind his back and the other in defensive posture. Sauske, on the other hand, looked liked he couldn't care less, like always.

"Go Sauske!" Sakura shouted from the stands. She didn't even receive a returning glance.

Without warning, both battlers started charging at once. They started dueling at lightning fast speed. Most in the audience couldn't even see the swings and blocks, they were so fast. Kakashi, Guy, and Jiraiya started talking about the duel in a very long winded conversation. After a few moments, Lee struck a blow and they both went flying back.

Sauske had to admit, at least to himself, that this was much harder than expected. After that pathetic excuse of a fight in which Lee annihilated Choji, there was no proof that this boy was any more than average. Sauske wished he had trained in Taijutsu more during the month. Oh well, might as well unleash he secret weapon.

Lee watched as Sauske created ten shadow clones, each of which retreated. Which one was real? Just as he charged the first one, Lee noticed that they were doing some complicated hand signs.

Sauske had had to rely on luck. He hated that. His strategy: ten shadow clones, each imitating Chidori as he did the real thing. He had trained steadily throughout the last month in Jutsu endurance and had enough strength to do this twice. He watched as one, and then a second clone disappeared in a brief explosion of dust.

Lee figured out the delay tactic, so he decided that he was just going to keep whacking until he hit the right Sauske. He charged clone after clone, demolishing each with a single punch or kick. On number seven, it didn't vanish. He struck flesh. As he watched Sauske fly away, he saw the boy's hand start to glow with blue lightning.

That shot hurt. Sauske had underestimated his foe's speed. But no matter. The Chidori was active and ready for action. Sauske landed lightly, feet attached to the wall, and charged.

Rock Lee saw Sauske seem to disappear the moment he feet hit the wall, and knew he needed to be prepared for quick combat. He saw a blur and dodged at the last moment as Sauske charged past him. A spark from Sauske's hand hit Lee's face and he winced from the shock, right as he was being rushed at again. He knew what to do.

As he came in for his second swing, Sauske threw away all caution. This boy was fast and should be treated as capable to defend himself even against the Chidori. However, he knew he was going to hit Lee this time. At the last moment, Lee leapt _over_ him. Not expected. Suddenly, he felt something hit the back of his head.

As Lee had landed behind his foe, he activated the primary lotus. Then he kicked Sauske in the head a bunch.

Slightly dizzy, and loosing concentration on his Chidori, Sauske used the only Taijutsu he had practiced in the last month. He spun around, dropping to the ground and swinging his foot at Lee's chin. "Lion's Barrage!" he shouted.

Lee barely dodged the kick. How dare Sauske think he could use that against the one he had copied it from? Lee grabbed Sauske's ankle and threw him straight up into the air, then leapt after him.

As he flew through the air, Sauske felt something white and snakelike grasp his arm. Then his waist, then he whole body. He was a living mummy!

As Lee into the air, he threw his hand wrappings for the reverse lotus. The white bands wrapped around Sauske's whole body, trapping him. Lee then grasped the bundle, flipped it and himself upside down, and started spinning it as they fell.

Sauske could do nothing as he was driven head first into the ground. His last, jumbled thought before going unconscious had something to do with the fact that he lost to a justsu-less warrior.

_A/N: Yes, I know, in the original story Jiraiya doesn't come to the tournament until about an hour or two later, but don't worry, I have my reasons for bringing him there. Also, I know Sauske's training was more Taijutsu focused during that month, but all his Taijutsu moves were based off of Lee, whose powers I purposely revealed little of during round one for that reason._


	13. Chapter 13: Sakura vs Hinata

Chapter 13: Sakura vs. Hinata

Disclaimer: The aerial spinning move by Sakura is not mine. It is from the Five Ancestors, sort of a non-magical Naruto.

A/N: Sorry for making up a new tool for Hinata in this chapter, but I thought it made it much better.

After Rock Lee slammed Sauske into the ground, he stood, staring at his foe, waiting for him to get up. After a few minutes, the Referee declared the battle over. Then Lee started bouncing around the field, celebrating his victory. After a moment, he noticed that Sauske still wasn't getting up. He leapt over and helped the medical ninja carry the boy off the field.

Wasting no time, Sakura and Hinata came to the field and faced off. "And Go!" the referee shouted.

Sakura charged, summoning two shadow clones. All three of the Sakura images drew a kunai. Her plan was on.

Hinata stood in a defensive posture, ready to stab her palms at Sakura. Just as the pink-haired girl reached her, she blocked Sakura's kunai stab with her arm! Then she did a one palm with her other hand.

Sakura stared, shocked that Hinata could block the attack, then realized that the girl had a metal bar in her coat. Smart. Sakura felt the slam of the palm just below her right shoulder and felt the energy drain from it. Ouch. She knelt down, dropping her kunai… and transformed into a log. "Substitution Justsu!" she shouted and came at Hinata from above.

If Sakura hadn't said anything out loud, it might have worked. Luckily for Hinata, she was prepared. Hinata raised her arm in a defensive position, yet again defending herself with the pole in her coat. Then she noticed the two Sakura clones closing in around her. She grabbed Sakura's wrist, and spun her around, destroying both clones.

Sakura felt disoriented as she was spun through the air. Then she bent her arm, making herself spin faster. She lifted her foot and slammed it down on Hinata's head. As Hinata's grasp released, Sakura flew through the air, landing hard on her side and skidding to a stop.

As she spun Sakura, Hinata felt a sudden loss in resistance. Suddenly, she felt a sharp blow to the head. She collapsed, releasing her grasp and skidding to the ground. Darkness started to cloud the edges of her vision.

Sakura popped up to her feet and drew another kunai. Then she saw her opponent collapsed onto the ground and allowed herself a second to wince. Her side was pretty bruised up. But no time to relax. She charged Hinata, determined to win. Then her opponent started to twitch.

Hinata fought the darkness. Must… Win… Must… Keep… Fighting! She raised her head to see a kunai, just as Sakura was about to ask for a declared victory. Hinata popped up and raised a kunai to block, but missed. She felt a sharp, powerful pain stab her side just before hitting flesh. Then she raised her other arm.

When Sakura reached her opponent, she saw a kunai and struck. Then pain. Suddenly, she realized that they had both struck home. But, by the looks of it, she was still in better condition. Then she saw the hand come up. Helpless, she tried to pull away, but Hinata turned the kunai like a hook. She was caught. She was struck once, twice, three times, four, and then the judge pulled the two girls apart. And declared Sakura victor.


	14. Chapter 14: Death by Snake

Chapter 14: Death by Snake

_A/N: Result list at the end. Warning: spoilers._

Sakura stood there, shocked. She? The victor? Suddenly, a loud, choking noise distracted her from her thoughts. She spun around, wincing in pain, and saw a disturbing sight. The Kazekage seemed to have disappeared and in his place was a white faced man with a snake coming out of his mouth. The snake's mouth was open and out of it came a sword, which was pointed straight at the Hokage. The only thing that had saved him was a man who had stopped the blow with his body. The Kazekage seemed to have disappeared

The Third Hokage leapt up, assessing the situation. Jiraiya had saved him with himself! His first thought was to find a way to save Jiraiya. His second was sadness as Oruchimaru swung the sword through the man. Jiraiya was dead.

Naruto leapt at the monster, only to be slapped back. In his regular fashion, he duplicated about a million times over and charged again. Four ninja dropped down around their master and deflected him. The sound ninja four.

The Third Hokage re-assessed the situation. Dozens of Sound Ninja released their guise while another, still hidden, activated a powerful Genetsu on the entire crowd. Maybe it was time for _that_ jutsu.

Sakura and Hinata released the holds on their kunai and used "release."

In the crowds, Shikamaru used "release", then kicked Choji and Ino awake. "Come on," Shikamaru ordered, "Lets take out that Genetsu user."

Meanwhile, back at the "kage" box, Naruto attacked again. "Stop bothering the old man!" he roared and leapt at the largest of the Sound ninja four. He hit him, stopping some sort of Jutsu the four were starting around the area. Then Narutos pilled on the man in mass.

This was it. The Third Hokage was one symbol from activating the move that would finish off himself and, hopefully, Oruchimaru. Suddenly, two hands grasped his wrists and yanked them apart. At the same moment, a voice called out "Dynamic Entry!" as Might Guy kicked Oruchimaru in the face. "Don't sacrifice yourself so easily," the Hokage heard from behind him. He gave a half grin. Kakashi.

Lee watched his master kick Oruchimaru in the face and responded by activating the second gate, his energy from the first exhausted by his duel with Sauske. As he ran at the white faced man, Lee transformed four of is weights into Nunchucks and dropped the rest to the ground. He wrapped his weapons around Oruchimaru's arms, pinning them, then started kneeing the guy and head-butting him while watching Kakashi come at them with the Chidori. At the last moment, he leapt into the air, keeping his arms in place, but dodging the bolts of lightning that tore Oruchimaru in half.

Pain. Thoroughly irritated, Oruchimaru threw the young boy aside, each half of his body launching snakes to reconnect himself. Then he ripped his own face off, revealing another stolen identity behind it. Suddenly, he was looking at a foot. Ouch.

As he watched Lee launch Oruchimaru at him through the air, smoker (Shikamaru, Ino, and Choji's teacher) took out his brass knuckles and smashed the monster back at the boy.

Lee kicked Oruchimaru again, and again, and again. He bounced him off the back of each of the three remaining sound ninja four. When Oruchimaru tried to spear him with his sword, Lee grasped the snake's throat and jabbed the sword through the bone-man of the sound ninja four, thus making him collapse to the ground. Then Lee hit Oruchimaru again. The woman of the sound ninja four split in half. Lee activated the third gate and used the power to wrap up the three remaining sound ninja with Oruchimaru and stabbed through all of them with Oruchimaru's sword.

Oruchimaru reeled in his snake, taking Lee with it. He grasped Lee's leg and slammed the boy to the ground. Suddenly, his head was struck by a Rasangan. He roared in pain as layer upon layer of guises started to fall from him like dead skin. Then the Rasangan exploded, taking him with it. He slumped to the ground, still attached by the dying snake to his three underlings, and the dying Jiraiya slumped on top of him.

_A/N Sorry for the gruesome ending, but how else can __Oruchimaru__ get killed? Here are the statistics on the actual tournament._

_Naruto (slight injuries, lost)_

_Neji (uninjured, won)_

_Shino (slight injuries, won)_

_Shikamaru (uninjured, lost)_

_Sauske (concussion and some broken bones, lost)_

_Rock Lee (strained muscles, won)_

_Sakura (temporary partial paralysis, bleeding wound, won?)_

_Hinata (bleeding wound, lost?)_

_Other casualties: __Oruchimaru__, Jiraiya, the sound ninja four, multiple generic ninja_

Chapter 15: Sakura vs. Neji

The battle raged on. Without Oruchimaru, or the sound ninja four, the battle was half done. When Naruto, Kakashi, Might Guy, and the Third Hokage started to look around outside their own little duel, they saw that Shikamaru had taken control.

Shikamaru looked at the chaos around him. He had woken his teammates and detected the geietsu user, then sent Ino to take him out. That done, he calmly took control of the situation, sending some ninja to take out the sound ninjas in the crowd, some to lead the flow of civilians out into the villiage, and some to protect the village walls. Even the Jonin quickly took his orders and went to their duty. Shikamaru hated to lead, but he was good at it. It was his cross to bear.

Soon, the battle was at its completion and the damage was assessed. Dozens if not hundreds of sound and sand ninja were killed, as were many of the leaf village. One of the youngest casualties was Naruto's friend Konahamru.

Lee took three days to recover from releasing the gates, but came back with no lasting problems.


	15. Chapter 15: Hinata vs Shino

Chapter 15: Shino vs. Hinata

_A/N: Sorry that I haven't updated for a few weeks. After this, I will have two more chapters, which almost certainly will be up of the next two Friday evenings (EST)._

The battle raged on. Without Orochimaru, or the sound ninja four, the battle was half done. When Naruto, Kakashi, Might Guy, and the Third Hokage started to look around outside their own little duel, they saw that Shikamaru had taken control.

Shikamaru looked at the chaos around him. He had woken his teammates and detected the genjutsu user, then sent Ino to take him out. That done, he calmly took control of the situation, sending some ninja to take out the sound ninjas in the crowd, some to lead the flow of civilians out into the villiage, and some to protect the village walls. Even the Jonin quickly took his orders and went to their duty. Shikamaru hated to lead, but he was good at it. It was his cross to bear.

Soon, the battle was at its completion and the damage was assessed. Dozens if not hundreds of sound and sand ninja were killed, as were many of the leaf village.

Lee took two days to recover from releasing the gates, but came back with no lasting problems. Sakura and Hinata had surprisingly light wounds for having stabbed each other and were up by the next day, although very weak.

After intense debate with the referee, Sakura managed to convince the man that she had lost to Hinata. She wanted to continue, but her sense of honor was stronger than her love of glory. Sakura was told later, privately, that the poor call of winner was on purpose. She would have been allowed to continue had she not argued the point, but she wouldn't have become a Chunin. As it was, she would receive the title.

The finals were postponed for a week to allow Hinata to recover and to bury the dead. Then finally, the day came.

The referee announced the next match: Hinata vs. Shino. The field was cleared and Hinata and Shino stood, poised for battle. A cloud of bugs exited from Shino's large sleeves and turtleneck and flowed in one large, black, bulging mass all around him.

Hinata activated her Byakugan eyes and observed the thousands of Chakara points creating a bright glow around Shino. She charged, drawing and throwing four kunai, before placing the blunt end of one in her own mouth. She watched the kunai enter the bulging mass, giving the appearance of not damaging anything. As she reached the mass of bugs, she started killing bugs by the hundreds with her soft palm attack. Suddenly, her arm reached straight through the middle of the black shape. There was no way Shino couldn't have been hit by that if he was in there! She drew back her hand and leapt backwards, slamming into Shino and collapsing to the ground. She felt a sharp pain in her arm as a kunai went in, narrowly missing the metal pole along the center of her left arm, the shock causing her to return her eyes to normal.

A moment earlier, Shino watched the girl leap backwards into him, and twisted his wrist slightly to make his kunai go into her arm. He swung her arm down to her side with the kunai and reached out with his other hand, grabbing her other wrist. Suddenly, she twisted around and Shino barely dodged a kunai coming at his throat. He released her arms and leapt back.

As Shino released her, Hinata swung her head and used that momentum to spit out her kunai at him, then leapt away from him. She turned back in time to see the slow moving kunai bounce harmlessly off his coat. He hadn't even bothered to block it. Hinata then tore off the end of her right sleeve, ripped out the kunai in her left arm, and created a quick bandage. She didn't want the weapon creating a bigger problem later. As she finished the task, Hinata observed what appeared to be a black hole in the ground extending from around Shino. She reactivated her Byakugan eyes and realized that the hole was really Shino's bugs spreading from him. Of course. Hinata looked at the field around her and considered her next move. Then she acted. She ran to the wall and started up it. When she had nearly reached the bleachers, she leapt down, a kunai in her right hand, and her left arm raised defensively, upon Shino.

Shino watched her come, emotionless, then projected a thought. The bug he had planted on Hinata earlier, when he had grabbed her wrist, bit down.

Hinata felt a quick jolt of pain on her wrist, and then felt her grip on her kunai slip. Quickly, she slapped the bug with her left hand with a soft palm, but it was to late. It had done its duty, sacrificing itself on a pressure point. Hinata had just enough time to see that Shino had slipped to the side before falling into the mess of bugs.

Shino watched, feeling a brief twinge of sadness as Hinata used soft palm on many of his bugs. But there were too many. Soon they overwhelmed her and she surrendered.


	16. Chapter 16: Neji vs Rock Lee

Chapter 16: Neji vs. Rock Lee

Shino's bugs returned to his body and Shino and Hinata left the field relatively quickly.

Rock Lee stared at Neji. When Neji looked back, Lee nodded. Neji looked away without a reaction. Immediately, the two leapt to the field. The referee nodded to them and announced their names to the crowd. While Neji stayed in place, Lee leapt to the far side of the field. Then he placed one arm along his back and raised his other hand, prepared for battle. Neji just stood where he was, casually glancing at his opponent.

The referee said "go!", but before he could teleport from the field, he almost got knocked over by a gust of wind. Lee was already acting.

Neji used rotation jutsu. He watched, carelessly, as Lee beat his legs, fists, and head against the spiraling, defensive chakra. After a few minutes of this, he casually activated his Bakugan eyes and tracked the useless chakra lines as Lee continually beat himself on the shield. Suddenly, he disappeared.

Confused, Neji kept scanning until he saw a faint blur of orange lines wrapped around a tree. Why was Lee hugging a tree? Neji slowed down to look… then quickly sped back up again as the tree slammed into his jutsu. Lee had ripped it out of the ground, carried it across the field and slammed it down like a hammer! No matter. Neji's jutsu grinded the object down to twigs.

In the crowd, eyes were riveted to the battle. Most of the civilians, all but one of the Genin, and some of the Jonin were thinking about how glad they were they were not out there. Naruto was pouting because he wasn't. Slowly, one of the Jonin stood up.

Lee bashed his foe with anything and everything that he could find. The tree had been the largest, but was not alone. Fists, kicks, head-buts, rocks, sand, even leaves were launched at Neji, but nothing got through. Suddenly, Lee heard a sound from the crowd. "Lee, remove your weights!" The boy skidded to a stop and looked into the crowd. "Are you sure master?" he asked. Might Guy nodded. Against Neji, Lee required no more provocation. He untied his weights from his legs, and then threw them at the shield. For half a second, the rotation speed seemed to slow down. Lee rushed up to it with renewed vigor and speed, slamming it with everything he had. The shield stopped.

A few moments earlier, Neji watched as the weights flew at him. Then he lost track of Lee again. Suddenly, he saw glowing orange lines everywhere around his. For a moment he thought of shadow clones, but then reminded himself that Lee couldn't use chakra. Was he really that fast? Realizing that he was being slowed down, Neji suddenly stopped his chakra to attempt to surprise his opponent. It worked. Neji saw Lee miss a punch, stumbling, and he went into action. Neji slid underneath Lee and two palmed, then four palmed, then eight palmed the boy, and was smashed by a punch and a kick. Neji went skidding backwards, but before he could stop, he was grabbed by the front of his shirt, then thrown into the air. Lee leapt after him, punching and kicking all the way. Finally, Lee grabbed Neji's shirt again and threw him to the ground, following it up by landing foot first onto Neji's stomach. Neji let out a poof of air and lay there, not moving.

_A/N Finally someone told me Stretchy's name! It is Tsurugu. Thanks for the help, Diabolus Regnum. Also, the same guy gave me suggestions that I used to edit the chapter nine names of Sound ninja and edit small errors in chapter three and seven. Sorry for not uploading last week. I forgot to. But, unless I forget again, the last chapter will be uploaded next Friday! (As said on my profile). The next Friday after that, I am uploading a Code Lyoko story. Also on my profile is a poll about what I should write next. Please vote!_


	17. Chapter 17: Shino vs Rock Lee

Chapter 17: Rock Lee vs. Shino

Rock Lee dropped to his knees, breathing hard. Beside him, Neji lay, face down and unmoving. The crowd looked at him, shocked. Suddenly, Lee leapt to his feet and jogged over to his weights, re-strapping them to his feet. He took three steps, then fell. "I won" he muttered, then passed out.

He was given 24 hours to recover. And recover he did. Lee was sore, but prepared for his fight the next day. At least, that is what he told himself. However, he was still very weak, and just below the surface was a tired boy about to collapse any second. But that wouldn't stop him.

Shino knew this was a bad matchup. He had only one hope: adapt to a different style. His lack of practice with Genjutsu meant it would wear him out quickly but maybe a simple illusion… He had no energy to waste practicing.

Finally, the moment came. Shino walked onto the field and observed his opponent. As much as he was trying to disguise it, Lee was trembling from sheer exhaustion. But, Shino noticed, Lee still had his weights on. Maybe the backup plan wasn't necessary. Shino clasped his hands together and sent bugs out his sleeves, over his arms. Then he activated a subtle hand sign. No time for any risks.

Lee watched the bugs cover Shino's arms and went to his regular position, arm behind back, other hand in front. He watched the referee go into the stands, then say go. Rock Lee launched himself at his foe.

Lee flew at Shino, and went right through. A bug clone. He landed, then almost collapsed from the strain. Very well, if he must. "The First Gate!" He felt strength and pain simultaneously flow into his system. After placing a foot on the ground at an angle and raising his other foot onto its toes, he kicked and spun, giving himself 360 degrees of vision. As he spotted his foe, he felt a sharp pain in his leg, causing him to fall.

Despite himself, Shino was impressed. As torn up as he was, Lee was still fighting. And fighting well. But now he had him. A bug had bitten Lee's leg, the goal was a pressure point, hit exactly, causing him to collapse onto one knee. Shino rushed over, kunai in hand as swarms of bugs covered Lee.

Pain. Lee was in pain. "Second Gate!" he roared and spun. The bugs went flying in every direction. Then, Lee leapt at Shino and kicked him in the back of the head. As Shino went flying forward, Lee came at him with a furry of kicks and punches. Shino went flying into the wall and slumped down. Lee went over to investigate, and Shino's arm grabbed his leg, flipping him over. Shino went on top of Lee, kunai at his neck. Lee kept struggling. Shino released bugs all over his body and had them bite him over and over and over. Eventually the referee declared the fight won by Shino.

Shino, Sakura, Shikamaru, Neji, Hinata, and Tenten all became Chunin. Lee was considered, but the fact that he didn't surrender when he had obviously lost destroyed his chances. This time. Without the influences of the sound ninja four and Orochimaru, Sauske didn't go rogue, and eventually became a nicer person. He and Sakura were eventually married. Naruto and Hinata also married. The Third Hokage died of old age three years after this specific exams and was replaced by his granddaughter, Tsunade. The Rasangan was not lost, as Kakashi had copied in during Jiraiya's last duel. After a few years, Tsunade was injured by the Akatsuki so that she couldn't fight, and was replaced as hokage by Shikamaru. Naruto never became hokage.


End file.
